Westward Ha!

So, I am moving to Japan. More about that later.

But first I have to get there. I finished teaching spring term in May, and returned to Philadelphia to pack up my apartment of 17 years.

Vernon House limited equity housing co-op, Fulldelfia.

My plan: get rid of furniture, books, clothes, old kitchen things, and particularly the ancient white colander with the pieces missing which I have been still using, pack my remaining stuff in boxes, put all the boxes in a giant truck, and drive across America. Head to greater Seattle, Washington to put things into storage near where my older brother lives. A farewell tour!

Of course there were squinty looks and dissent. “You know,” said the dissenters, leaning way in, “There are things called moving companies. They move your stuff for you. Then you just take an airplane to Seattle.”

But I only had one response to the dissenters: Where’s the adventure in that?

Because adventure courses through my very veins! I live to live by the seat of my pants! And what better place to park said pants than in the driver’s seat of a giant yellow moving truck?

I’ll have your yellowest moving truck, please!

Since arriving in Philadelphia I’d been packing things into boxes. First one has to get boxes, so I became a regular asking for leftover boxes at the local state-store booze shops, where they will helpfully ask, “How many boxes do your need?” and as you are gearing up to say, “at least 65,” they add, “You can have four.” Eventually I bought some brand-new boxes at Target from their “Packing” department. As the departure day approached and then loomed, packing turned into dumping things into boxes and even into bags.

At times I worried that this massive undertaking might not be challenging enough, so I borrowed a stroppy, attitudinous cat for the summer named Junior. Junior has been to stay before from Paula’s, where he normally resides with another cat and a dog. Junior is a very good cat; he just has a lot of opinions. If you have a ton of work to get done by a deadline, Junior wants to play NOW!

Where’s Junior? Right where you are trying to get work done, every time.

To find homes for small items I was getting rid of, I created a handy “shop” outside my apartment door and sent pictures to all of my neighbors of the always-updated, curated selection, carefully set out on shelves.

Then you have to curate and get rid of all the shelves.

THE PROCESS

Before:

After:

There you go! Apartment full of stuff, and then apartment with no stuff. Bingo-bongo, presto, in a jiffy, boom. All gone!

Except for the freakily huge tornado part in the middle. The massive swirling mayhem of all of your possessions — picture terrifying noisy high winds and an airborne cow flying right past your window — because there are all of these things to contend with in the middle:

• clothes to try on, ruminate about, decide to keep, change mind, and then donate;
• books to sort and donate to the Book Bank, area little libraries, and also some niche places with very odd and inconsistent opening hours;
• fabulous bike treasures like lights, saddles, a biography of champion rider and biking hero Major Taylor, racks, tubes, and tools to pack and donate to Neighborhood Bike Works;
• bags and bags of things which can be recycled;
• a giant sack of fabrics and some fog juice for the smoke machine at the Old Academy Players theater in East Falls;
• a forgotten stash of controlled substances from when the late Spot the Cat of beloved memory was on daily opioids — (pause very briefly to think if any friends might want the chance to get high on cat heroin) — which will have to go back to the cat vet by appointment;
• tons of weighty furniture to drag over to neighbors’ apartments after sharing details and pictures online with the entire building so they can come visit and choose items;
• more furniture to cart down to the basement to donate to the (now very snazzy indeed) Vernon House co-op apartments official office;
• one bike to load into your car one morning to give to your dear pal Rosemary down in Delco for future fun biking shenanigans;
• a truckload of nice items taken to Whosoever Gospel Mission, with other perfectly nice things dropped off at the Goodwill on Lincoln Drive;
• visits from new-immigrant families who will pick out kitchen items, fans, and furniture to take to their new homes, hoisted by their super-strong nephews and carried out of the building (Paula will have to be there each time to translate as your Spanish is still mostly Italian);
• (Your car. Remember to sell your car.)
• individual gifts to pack into pretty bags and leave on the doors of your beloved neighbors with individual cards late at night;
• old dead electronics to the city dump on Domino Lane;
• mattresses to the city dump on Domino Lane;
• and after all the thoughtful and painstaking donating, all the residual actual garbage which has to go to the city dump over on Domino Lane.

I had some assistance to insure everything got packed, the walls were painted back to white, the place was super-clean, and the truck was packed by not just me. Special thanks to Josh, Angie, and Monk! And to Paula, Karen, Carolyn, Enid, Kelly, and Amanda, who stopped by just to pitch in! I am so grateful to you all, you have no idea.

Always Invite Your Younger Brother

I did not want to keep this massive, exciting adventure all to myself, so I invited my younger brother, Dan, to join me for the cross-country drive. Dan had boxes stored in Pittsburgh for years, as he abides in Beijing, China, and I thought maybe he’d like to come along, first stop Pittsburgh, PA, to retrieve his boxes. Dan was all in! He flew over, arrived on “Go Get The Truck Day,” and provided immense labor and support as the tornado swirled.

And then it was time to drive off into the sunset. Literally into the sunset, as with all the loading and last-minute recycling we only got underway in the early evening, making it west to Carlisle, PA, for our first motel night.

Ready, Set,

Got truck?

Truck — CHECK !

Pause to be grateful you had a substantial breakfast with dear friends at Das Good Hawaiian-fusion cafe: Barb, Carolyn, Paula, Brother Dan, Lettie, Maria, me, and Linda!

Check for possible wildfires on your planned route!

Confirm wildfires and bonus smoky air definitely on your planned route!

Is your truck full of stuff?

Yes, it is!

Can you see over the front hood from the driver’s seat?

(Have you actually EVER been able to see over a front hood from a driver’s seat?)

Adjust the nice cushions Paula has helpfully provided in the hope that you might see a glimpse over the front hood of the truck!

And . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

GO!

Next stop after Carlisle: Peoria!